Blog

The 2 Sided Mirror, I share my journey, my struggles, my hardships and my pain. I share with you the ways I had to maneuver through Domestic Violence abuse. I hope that my journey and everything that I have learned along the way, including the healing process, that this is a stepping stone for your own growth and healing process. There is a way to live a healthy balanced life. In this book, I write about my mental health, behaviors and attitudes of both parties in hope that this will help you understand the warning signs and become more self aware not only of your own abuse you are living with but the pain deep within others. Everyone’s story is different, do not compare yourself to one person or another. Take in what they have to say, be open to new changes.

Domestic Violence aftermath can last for years or even a lifetime. The physical toll it takes on our bodies, and how it can manifest in ways that are not immediately apparent. The bruises may heal, the scars may fade, but the damage it does internally can be permanent. The chronic pain, the migraines, the loss of vision, can be a constant reminder of the violence we endured. Then there is the emotional toll of physical abuse. The fear of being touched, the anxiety of being in crowded spaces, the avoidance of intimate relationships. The feelings of shame and guilt that linger long after the abuse has ended. The self-doubt and lack of confidence that can plague us for years, making it difficult to form healthy relationships and trust ourselves. We often overlook the impact of physical abuse on our mental health. The depression, the anxiety – all of this can be triggered by the trauma of physical abuse. And let’s not forget the impact on our self-esteem, our sense of identity and our overall well-being. This is our journey that requires patience, compassion and understanding – from ourselves, from others and from society as a whole. We feel fine, physically for years, we are active with the kid(s), we are riding motorsports, hiking, diving and we are trying our best to live our best life. Then slowly our body is showing us the aftermath of years of abuse. We are struggling to keep up with our own pace. We try to brush it off as a normal part of aging, but deep down, we know it’s more than that. The years of neglect, of pushing our bodies to the limit. The abuse aftermath is starting to catch up to us. The headaches that started as occasional annoyances are now daily reminders of every punch we took to the head, the face and even the slamming of our heads to the counter or tub. The hip pain that we thought was just a minor complaint is now another constant reminder that our bodies are crying out. Then there is our vision, once sharp and clear, now blurred and distorted. Eye prescriptions are changing rapidly. Don’t make it all doom and gloom. This is our wake-up call, our chance to speak up to those around us, those enduring the ongoing struggles of Domestic Violence. We might not be able to take back what we are losing but we are able to speak and help others understand the long term effects. Over the last year, my eyes sight has drastically changed. I am losing vision in my right eye. This is the impact of being in a domestic violence relationship. It’s the scar tissue that lingers behind my eye. The scar tissue of every punch I endured. Every punch I took, my eye (right side where I was mainly hit) would shift causing the scar tissue to continue to build up. Bad eyesight leads to migraines which I endure several times a month. I recently went to see a specialist. Had my eye exam, sat face to face with a male Dr. when he asked me “Have you ever been in a serious car accident?” I expressed no, several times. “There is two separate scar tissue pockets behind your right eye ma’am. This is only caused by head trauma, extensive head trauma.” I glared right at him and I knew. I knew what was wrong. “Ma’am, are you in danger?” He questions me. “Not any more.” I expressed to him exactly what it was. Six years I was gone. Six years I had left this all behind me. The force of the trauma to the head can cause the eyes to move forward and then jolt backwards so hard that there are several minor tears. Those tears will leave behind scar tissue. Over time, I can have surgery. Overtime I could go blind. Surgery could lead to blindness in the right eye. These are the aftermaths of domestic violence. Each person is different. Some victims will only believe that the scars will heal and the bruises will go away. As they get older, the will realize that they were wrong. This is what I want to prevent in the future. I want women to know that there are true aftermaths, get out while you can.